Hello
I am a retired ICU nurse, a single mother of five, and a co-founder of a non-profit organization. As a mompreneur, the chaos of my life is organized around entrepreneurial (ad)ventures focused on trauma, coaching, and health. The challenges of parenthood, surviving covert abuse, and entrepreneurship have led me to blindly invest in the belief that we (can and will) all thrive in a community of care.
My Story
I married at 17, had my first baby by 20, saw my first death by 21, had my fifth baby by 29, and made my first million by 30 years old. Sitting in front of a church committee that had seen me from diapers to divorce, I was trying to justify my submission for a divorce from a man I had been married to for 14 years. I was asked if he had committed adultery or physically (and repeatedly) beaten me or the kids, which is easy to write off in the conservative, but not so conventional, church setting.
After getting so many questions about the typical “Biblical” justifications, I finally asked for a quiet room to illustrate an analogy, and I asked: “If you would come and see me in an ICU hospital bed–on life support, every bone in my body broken, and completely bruised, tattered, and torn. What would you tell me to do if you KNEW that my domestic partner/husband/wife had done this to me?”
Then I sat and gave the mic to the committee of over ten different elders (men) of the church and watched them speak over each other. Some said: “we would force you to divorce him!” Others said: “I would beat him to a pulp!” I allowed the answers to flow freely, and then, when the room quieted down, they waited for my point. Then I said– “why is my body so much more important than my spirit? If my soul is in the ICU right now and only I know its condition, who are you to tell me that just because I seem healthy, happy, and thriving to the naked eye, I am the same on the inside? Can you not understand that my soul almost died, and now I am returning to life? I have five humans who depend on me for their every breath and life. I need to be whole for them. Most importantly – I need to be whole for ME. I will stand naked and unashamed in front of my Creator that day, knowing I gave it ALL.”
After hearing this analogy, there were more minor remarks, but most were in tears. Most of that group were my elder uncles, cousins, and others who had known me as a little girl. They saw the hurt and turmoil I had overcome, and now they were seeing the unshakable woman coming out on the other side. Unapologetically free and unashamed of the steps I would embark on for complete FREEDOM.
Why is my body so much more important than my spirit? If my soul is broken, who will tell me it is not? I have been through HELL, and I’m coming out with buckets of water for everyone else!